placeholder for a conversation.

Lookin' for glory boys In a distant summer Once upon a dream lingers my fleeting kiss lips sweeter to miss Sing freedom in seven days, Sink deeper through the maze The river ran out of Eden and wind swept through this bay I can believe I can believe in miracles again If you would fire me from this part If you'd retire me from your heart I can believe I can believe in miracles again If you would fire me from this part If you'd retire me from your heart Ah – I don't know if I believe in hindsight … anymore

I'm trying to love you The way that you need The way that my therapist says it should be You know all my secrets, There's nothing we can do Maybe that's no good for me and you You got the weight of the world on your shoulders And the rain falling down on you If you believe our dreams can be? Please, give a little grace to me I know I'm not perfect I've said it out loud Or is it tenderness that breaks my future down? I'm tired of waiting Of hoping you'll forgive So our past might break away let present live You got the weight of the world on your shoulders And the rain falling down on you If you believe our dreams can be? Please, give a little grace to me And I'm undeserving Of anymore of your time And I can't promise that I'll change I'm undeserving Of anymore of your time But I promise to be better Give a little grace to me You got the weight of the world on your shoulders And the rain falling down on you If you believe our dreams can be? Please, give a little grace to me Please, give a little grace to me Please, give a little grace to me

I'm coming for you - only if you want me to And I'll keep you in check Is that what you suspect? It was the year, the year with no April. It was the year, the year with nowhere to go. Baby I'm a saint Forgetting my own name I'm reaching out Oh to see if you're about It was the year, the year with no April It was the year, the year with no where to go I know that I'm a fool to be trying this with you I know that you're a saint - since you're driving me insane It was the year, the year with no April It was the year, the year with no where to go Are you on the spectrum they ask? Well, I am not equipped to answer

I am riveted to my TV set Oh this blue light's a drug and now I'm sleepless in a dream state I'm dripping down like coffee I'm grinding teeth like beans Is now the time to stop and see the nature of the beast? Oh you fuck me up for days And yet it's you I crave To satiate the beast I've digested every title on my bookshelf I can't peel the covers open I don't know what to do with my self And I am crying I'm falling down the well I'm Alice but my rabbit hole is hell I'm pleading on my knees trying to understand the nature of the beast… Oh you fuck me up for days And yet it's you I crave To satiate the beast Just send me the fuck to bed.

I am absolutely utterly exhausted Bereft and distorted You said that I say yes too many times for self-importance Well fuck me, that's morbid If I take a breath you will know If I stay a little longer here you'll go Oh Will you love me If I stop trying so hard?

Baby just lie to me Don't waste the truth if I'm erased. I can fake a smile, see? If you want the look or like the shape Cos I've been wandering through your mind. I don't wanna know. Don't wanna be myself If you want someone else Don't have to feel this shame Begging for my name Nothing that you see Has to be the final me Give me one last try A taste of your white lies I played the perfect fool for you A greater liar lies in me No need to be cruel to those who take it Who can make it work for free Cos I've been wandering through your mind And you want me to go Don't wanna be myself If you want someone else Don't have to feel this shame Begging for my name Nothing that you see Has to be the final me Give me one last try A taste of your white lies God only knows The secrets you hold You set them in stone And tell me it's gold. Just spare me the truth. Don't wanna be myself If you want someone else Don't have to feel this shame Begging for my name Cos nothin' that you see Has to be the final me Give me one last try Just a taste of your white lies.

I haven't moved in a couple days And how my head feels has me begging sleep to stay I feel your fingers through my hair Planting love deep when the fractures linger there. Here we are on a Tuesday night And I'm not lying when I say I can't believe that you're here by my side Here we are on a Tuesday night Did I say I was sorry? Baby I'm sorry. I don't know how you can look my way How the little good I do Outweighs all the shit I leave on display And if I'm honest I stopped trying But somehow you believe that all this dies and we're left smiling Here we are on a Tuesday night And I'm not lying when I say I can't believe that you're here by my side Here we are on a Tuesday night Did I say I was sorry Cos baby I'm sorry And then you crawl down to meet me In the silence curled up quiet like it's easy And here we are on a Tuesday night And I'm not lying when I say I can't believe that you're here by my side And here we are on a Tuesday night Did I say I was sorry? I'm so fuckin' sorry. Did I say I was grateful? (I'm) so god damn grateful. Did I say I was happy? I think this is happy. Did I say I want more of this? More of this? Did I say I want more of this? More of this? More of this - I just want more of this Did I say I want more of this? More of this - more of this - more of… I want more, do you want more? More of this? More of this? Baby I just want to have more of this Tell me you want more too? Please god yes you do. I just wanna have more of this. More of this… This is a happy song. If you didn't know.